Ash begins again..........

....I Think im dying!

i got up this morning with no energy and couldnt face breakfast... i just thought i was tired so i went to work, by the time i'd driven there i decided i should have stayed at home.
i nearly yakked in my car on the way in even tho i hadnt eaten!

so i waited for my boss to get in and then went home.....i must have walked about ten passes from the shop when who do i bump into?.....mr M.
i couldnt not believe it.....he shouldnt have been in my home town!?
i wasnt sure it was him to start with until he said hi ash?! the worst conversation of my life. it went like this......

M: HI ASH
A: HEY
M: HOW ARE YOU?
A: IM SICK, JUST GOING HOME.
M: OH IM SORRY HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER.
(THIS POINT M STARTS TO WALK AWAY, WHEN I SAY....)
A: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??
M: IVE GOT THE DENTIST.
A: OH I SEE, BYE THEN.

I then walked off.
was bloody awful. not only did i look like shit but i could bearly drag a sentence together, i was concentrating too hard on not being sick.
i bet he thought thank god i got a way from that one!??
i wanted to look hot when i next saw him so he'd realise how he fucked up by letting me go!!?

i then came home and cried alot.
now laying on bed as i dont have the energy to move.
bad bad day.

Ive caved in a decided to tell all......

1. Do you have any friends you’d ever consider having sex with?
yes, i consider it when i meet most people.

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
whenever but i am a bit of a night owl.

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
i dont sleep on a side.....i sleep across my bed.

4. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
no but i'd consider it. ive done it for fun does that count?

5. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
in the bath. but i was bit drunk and drugged(legal) so not my finest hour.

6. Do you watch or read pornography?
yes i do/have. not for ages something bit grubby about porn.

7. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
i do like a man to take charge......but its better if both parties participate.

8. Do you love someone on your blogroll?
no that would just be odd. btu some people are bit flirty. no name mentioned.

9. Would you choose love or money?
right now...money. but overall love. im a closet romantic.

10. Your top three favourite kinks in bed?
ummmm.....not sure i have any....i do like a bit of pictue messaging tho.

11. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
yes! i had a guy ask me if i was 'gonna waste this?' waving his knob at me. worst sex ever.

12. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
ive never had romantic sex......ummmm.....nope nothing comes to mind. no pun intended.

13. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
oooo up against the wall outside the doctors surgery?!

14. Have you ever been caught having sex?
yep by my old flat mate. touch embarrassing.

15. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
yup in my drinking days. ashamed to say.

16. Ever been picked up in a bar?
yup, everyones done that tho.

17. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
kissed lots of girls....mainly for the benifit of a guy.

18. Do you own any sex toys?
yes, a rampamt rabbit.

19. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
quite possibly! i do like picture messaging when you know ur not meant to....did some webcam once for someone.

20. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?

no way!!! that really rude!

i had my first biology class the other week.....oh my god i'm never going to be able to do it!
my poor lil brain wont cope!
she said we were starting with the easy stuff....my arse!?
i was lost about 10 mins in and the lesson went on for an hour and a half!? help!

over the years i've had an up and down kind of relationship with the cancersticks.

I enjoyed smoking, like most things did it to the extreme for awhile....but soon figured that ash tray mouth and yellow finger were not very becoming to a lady....so I kicked the habit.

Only to relapse a few years later.....this cycle was repeated on a number of occasions.

For years now i have not smoked so why yesterday did i feel the need to have a cigarette?

It was horrible....tasted nasty and made me cough, left my hair smelling wiffy too.

I shall not be repeating that in a hurry.

I supppose it got it out of my system though.

I have been away from blogland for sometime....i couldnt be bothered to write.
I was feeling introspective and this is never very intresting for anyone.

Bored with work and still hung up on the same man does also not make for very interesting reading.
so i gave up for a while, didnt even pop by to read other peoples posts....very disloyal i know.

I'm back, my life is still pretty much the same apart from I've gone back to school!?
scary or what?
so far I've had two lessons and I'm finding it a little hard to get my brain in gear after such a long time just drifting along...kind of exciting at the same time though.
what will become of me i wonder?
All my friends have been very supportive of my new venture they think i'm going to be some high flyer, all i can think of is i'll be paying back the tuition fees long after ive done the course.....will be worth it in the end tho.
i hope!